Beyond These Tears
by Lura Elsworth
Summary: Beth Milford was twelve when she met the Pevensies. For the first time in her life, she was tempted to leave the walls she had built around herself- a wall of black and white, a wall that had left her scarred every time she tried to leave it in the past. "Is it alright to come closer? Is it alright for me to stay?" EdmundXOC.


_**~Dedicated to those who are crying out silently to be heard~**_

* * *

 **Beyond These Tears**

a Chronicles of Narnia fanfiction

 _Special note: Differences seen as compared to the original are intended._

 _Narnia belongs to C.S. Lewis._

* * *

Chapter 1- When Worlds Meet

Lucy Pevensie could barely contain her excitement as she skipped down the familiar street leading back to her home. It had been eleven months since she came back and along with the bliss of finally returning home was the knowledge that she did not have to pick up another one of those dreadful textbooks- her smile widened at that thought and she could already feel her cheeks aching. Not that she minded.

Her ears picked up on the pair of footsteps trailing behind her and she paused, "Hurry up, you two!" She called out as she turned to look at her companions who were walking at a _way_ slower speed, in her opinion.

Her sister, Susan, sighed at her impatience, "Calm down, Lu. Home's not going anywhere."

"But don't you want to see Peter and Edmund again? It been _so_ long and I want to hear all about their adventures!" Not that anything could ever measure up to their adventures in Narnia two years ago but one could hope. Lucy's mind wandered back to their days in Professor Kirke's house and a half wistful look flashed across her eyes. There had been days when she questioned the reality of her memory, thinking that perhaps she had conjured the story of a lion and a land with eternal winter in her longing for her father to return from the war safe and sound. But then she remembered the warmth of Aslan, and the friendship she shared with the Beavers and Mr. Tumnus, and she knew there was no doubting that Narnia was indeed real.

There was also the fact that all of them had changed- for better or worse, they were no longer the naive little children who entered the wardrobe without knowing that in no time, they would be crowned High Kings and Queens of a land filled with creatures that were merely considered as myths in this world.

"They've done a good job at rebuilding this neighborhood," Susan off-handed comment dragged Lucy back to the present. Following her sister's line of sight, she surveyed the roads and houses and hummed in agreement. Them being forced to hide from an air raid in the basement seemed like a lifetime ago.

Lucy glanced to her right when she felt a presence approaching. Her eyes brightened- if possible- when she caught sight of the growingly familiar auburn-haired girl with quiet, solemn grey eyes. Reaching out, she grabbed her friend's larger and colder hand in hers, tugging the girl forward with an inviting grin lighting up her face.

"Come on, Beth! We're almost there. You've got to meet _everyone_."

Her excitement was palpable and to her secret satisfaction, the girl showed no signs of protest. Not that it took much convincing on Lucy's part for the latter to follow her and her sister home during this break.

Beth Milford was a year older than Lucy herself. It was by fluke that she stumbled upon the older girl in the 'abandoned'- at least, that was what everyone thought- art room six months ago when she, on a whim, decided to explore her boarding school out of boredom. At that time, she had wandered, taking turns when her guts told her to, and one way or the other found herself standing in front of an ancient looking double doors at the end of a secluded hallway. She would have left if not for the slight thump she heard coming from the other side of the door.

If there was anything Lucy learned from her days as a Queen, it was that curiosity- no matter how dangerous it may be- was a wonderful thing.

So she pushed open the door.

And was met with the most beautiful painting she'd ever seen.

 _"You're amazing!"_

 _At Lucy's sudden exclamation, the painter swirled around with a startled look on her face that quickly morphed into wariness. The girl had long auburn hair that appeared to be red under the rays of sunlight shining in through the half-drawn curtains, and her guarded eyes reminded Lucy of the stars she had seen in Narnian skies... as cliche as it may sound._

 _For one split second, the air around the girl reminded Lucy of herself and her siblings- it was that of an older soul being trapped in the body of a child. However, upon further scrutiny, she could see that the girl had not met Aslan. The look in her eyes told Lucy that much._

 _Something within Lucy told her to reach out to the girl._

 _And that was what she did. Stretching out her hand for a handshake, she said to the bewildered girl-_

 _\- "I'm Lucy Pevensie. Let's be friends."_

 _The girl had taken her hand with hesitation. And when she spoke, her voice was soft but clear._

 _"My name is Beth Milford."_

 _Lucy beamed at the reply she received. Sitting down beside the girl, she turned to stare at the painting again, "Who is that woman in the corner?" She asked, pointing at the drying canvas._

 _She saw her new acquaintance shift from the corner of her eyes. The girl was gazing at the woman in the painting with an indiscernible look in her eyes._

 _"She's just someone I created." The girl told her, "I needed something to liven up the gloomy forest background."_

 _Lucy nodded, not really believing the casual answer, but not minding it altogether. Instead, she asked another question, one that caught the older girl off-guard once more._

 _"Can I come again tomorrow? You'll be here, right?"_

And that was how a new routine was formed. Lucy concluded fondly in her mind.

They met in the art room at lunch break day after day. Most of the time, the girl would be working on her art while Lucy watched with a raptness that was both amusing and flattering. It wasn't long before Lucy started bringing snacks to her daily visitation, and it was then that she learned that her new friend had literally no food preference. She had been horrified- and just the _slightest_ bit offended- at the discovery because _who_ , in their right mind, would say that they ate merely because it was required to stay alive?!

It was two months after their initial meeting that Lucy finally asked a question that had been bugging her for some time.

" _Why don't you paint with colors anymore?_ "

Ever since the first painting Lucy saw, Beth never painted anything else. Lucy had taken a glance at the numerous pencil and charcoal sketches and portraits scattered around the room and, as breathtaking as those were, she found the monochrome-ity of the entire setting a little depressing.

" _This is what I specialize in._ "

Beth had told her simply. And though it made no sense to Lucy as to why she would think she was no good in _coloured_ pieces, she did not press further into the subject, leaving the topic be... for the time being.

A month after that Lucy introduced Susan to her new friend. It was a wonder how she lasted that long, actually. But maybe it was because of Beth's secluded nature, or maybe it was because of the invisible but solid wall she built around herself, Lucy couldn't find a right moment to present to the older girl the notion of meeting her older sibling.

To her utmost surprise, her worries seemed to be unfounded. The edges of her lips curved up into a small smile when she remembered her astonishment at finding her new friend and her sister conversing as if they'd known each other for months after leaving the art room for twenty minutes to grab some snacks from the lunch hall.

When she asked Susan about it later that day, however, all her sister told her was that they 'shared an understanding' about life in general. Lucy had wrinkled her nose at that, unsure of how she should feel now that she came to know that her new friend apparently was a philosophical person as well. Even till now, she did not understand some of Susan's 'views' on life... and dating... and guys... Yuck.

That aside.

"We're home!" She announced, proudly gesturing to the two-storey house before skipping up the front steps to rap her knuckles against the wooden door.

Two minutes later, the dark-haired teenager that came to greet them was glomped enthusiastically by an overly excited Lucy.

"Ed! I've missed you and your meanness!"

Lucy exclaimed, ignoring the indignant _hey_ of protest by simply tightening her arms around the teen even more. Grinning up at him, she stuck her tongue out, only to catch sight of her other light-haired sibling.

"Pete!"

The eldest Pevensie laughed as he caught her and spun her around once, "Hello there, Lu. You seem well," He said, teasingly pinching her cheeks. He then looked up to nod at Susan who just walked in the door, "And you too, Su."

Lucy let go of Peter when she belatedly remembered her guest. Glancing around, she spotted her silent friend still standing by the door with an inscrutable look on her face as she looked on at their small reunion. Lucy went over and pulled her into the house, guiding her until they were standing in front of the boys.

"Beth, these are my brothers, Peter and Edmund," then to her brothers, "Guys, this is Beth Milford, the friend I told you all about in my letter."

Lucy could see Beth observing her brothers while her brothers did the same. Edmund was the first one who made the first move, offering his hand to the girl in greeting- very much like what Lucy did six months ago. Absent-mindedly, she recalled how he used to be two years ago and she couldn't help but marvel at how much he'd changed from the brooding boy to the understanding teen he was today. Her eyes then darted to Peter and she felt something in her shift uncomfortably. Pushing the feeling away, she asked, "Where's mom?"

"She went to town. Something about getting more groceries."

"And dad?"

"At our neighbour's."

A part of her deflated at the knowledge that she wouldn't be seeing her folks until later that evening but she quickly perked up again, "Let me show you our room, Beth. All of us have our own rooms but of course you're rooming with me. Actually, give me a minute. I'll go grab a couple of cookies for us to munch on while we unpack. Mom's always making cookies and her cookies are the best."

After all, her goal for this month was to get Beth to admit that she _has_ a favorite food.

...

* * *

Edmund was always the quiet observer among the Pevensie siblings, seeing and analyzing things in the background. This was perhaps, also one of the reasons why he was one of the best strategist there was in Narnia.

Narnia.

He fought the urge to sigh when his thoughts brought him back to the same place... a place he had been trying to avoid thinking about nowadays. It had been two years, and while he had an inkling that they had not seen the last of Narnia just yet, he was tired of the struggles and changes his older siblings were going through. _Especially_ the older siblings.

They were all on the same boat, being forced back into the bodies of children after their return to this world. They were Kings and Queens, _adults_ , and though they were never tyrants, they were used to taking control. Peter more so than any of them. Peter was now... rebellious, though he couldn't see it himself. Susan, on the other hand, seemed to be trying to forget Narnia ever happened. The scary thing was that Edmund knew she just needed a little more time before she successfully convinced herself that Narnia was a thing of the past.

"You should've seen Beth's drawing! They're so beautiful and- and _sophisticated_."

Lucy's cheery voice broke through his musings. Edmund silently looked towards where his younger sister was conversing animatedly with their parents and his brows creased. Unlike Peter and Susan, Lucy's way of coping with their return was to act her age again. At first, it seemed hard for her to get back to how she was but now he could see that she was pretty much adapt to her role as an eleven-year-old...

...albeit overdoing it at times.

Edmund's focus finally landed on the newcomer eating wordlessly beside his lively sister, eyes fixed on her food, looking up every so often to answer his parents' inquiries. He watched the minute smile that danced across her lips now and then, and he wondered what it was about her that had his sisters enamored.

It wasn't as if the girl left him with a bad impression, no, that was not the reason he questioned the friendship between her and his sisters. It was just... her stillness was such a stark contrast against Lucy's bubbly nature, and, no matter how he hated to label Susan's ideals as being too over the top, it left him stumped to hear Susan say that the girl was one of the few who _understands_ her.

"You're over-exaggerating again, Lucy," Beth was saying in response to his sister's earlier statement. An uncomfortable frown hovering just above her features, never really settling in. Her grey eyes flickered in his and Peter's direction with well-concealed apprehension, as if she was somehow worried of what they might think of her.

He kicked his sister gently under the table and shook his head unnoticeably at her when she turned to glare at him. She blinked, taking a moment before getting his message, a sheepish look entering her smile.

He sighed.

This month was going to be interesting.

...

* * *

It was two hours after dinner and Beth was sitting with Susan in the living room. The slightly humid summer breeze blew in through the window, turning the sheets of the newspaper lying on the table beside it. The house was finally quiet as Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie, as well as the other three Pevensie children, were all back in their individual rooms.

"I apologize for Lucy's over-excitement earlier," Susan offered, breaking their comfortable silence.

Beth shrugged, her auburn hair pulled into a simple side ponytail.

"It's alright, I'm not really bothered by it," she said, "I'm just... not used to people talking about my works so... appreciatively."

Susan leaned back, sparing the younger girl a glance, "You know how Lucy is like. Once she gets excited over something, there is no telling when she's ever going to stop. Furthermore," she said, her eyes serious, "You _should_ get used to the praises because you're as good as Lucy says you are."

Beth stared down at her folded hands, knowing her fifteen-year-old friend well enough by now to know that arguing with her- or rather, _them_ \- was a futile act. But still, she had to attempt one last time-

\- "But I really am not. Sketching is the only thing I'm good at, but really it's just a waste of time and money."

"Who told you that?"

"...People."

"People can be ignorant," Susan said without hesitation, "If there's something we need to work on, it would be your self-confidence."

Beth let out a faint smile at that, "And here I thought you told your parents we agreed on everything."

Susan raised her chin in a playful haughty manner, "I said we _almost_ agreed on everything. It would be frightful if a twelve-year-old child had _my_ brilliant mind." She tried to keep a straight face as she finished her sentence but ended up laughing before she uttered the last word. Beth's laughter was light and soundless, but there was a twinkle in her eyes that wasn't there before.

"Thank you, Su," said Beth, at last relaxing her stiff posture to lean back into the warm couch like Susan did minutes prior. "What are we going to do for the next few weeks?" She asked softly after a brief pause.

Susan hummed in thought, "Lucy would want to bring you all over town, that's for sure. Picnics, shopping, roaming the woods... pretty much anything you'd like to do. We know a store downtown that sells art supplies so if you're interested, we could pay that store a visit sometime."

And despite art being a 'waste of time and money', Susan could clearly see that immediate spark of interest in the girl though she made no indication of taking up her offer.

Right at that moment, Edmund walked into the living room with a piece of towel hanging from his shoulders, his dark hair damp from the shower he just took. His steps slowed when he caught sight of them, "Good evening, ladies."

"Dry your hair properly, Ed."

Her brother rolled his eyes, "Yes, mom," he said, teasingly as he slumped onto the ground beside her sister's feet, making a show of painstakingly lifting the towel off his shoulders.

"How very mature," Susan sniffed, "Don't mind him, Beth. He's a kid."

"I'll have you know," Edmund retorted, "that I'm older than I really look!"

This phrase was one of the Pevensies' favorite inside joke. And of course, to Beth, it meant nothing more than a harmless retort. As if noticing her slight amusement, Edmund gave Beth a friendly smile, "How are you liking this family so far? Hopefully our quirks haven't scared you away."

Beth blinked, before subtle mischief crept into her voice, "What quirks? I thought this is how all of you act all the time," However, catching his look of surprise, she hastily added, "I mean, I'm enjoying my stay so far. Everyone has been very welcoming to me." Her fingers began to pick on an invisible thread along the cuffs of her long sleeved blouse, now looking anywhere but at the hosts.

Susan's muted hiss of _Ed_ made Edmund realize that his surprise had been taken the wrong way by the girl. Clearing his throat, he waited until she glanced at him again to offer her another sincere smile, "I'm glad you like us," His smile then shifted into a crooked smirk, "The Pevensies can be dashing when we try to be. You'll find that you won't be able to get rid of us for a really long while."

Her answering smile was more hesitant, but as Edmund and Susan began launching into their usual bickering, Beth allowed herself to sit back and listen. Secretly enjoying the light and playful atmosphere, she wasn't even that bothered when Lucy entered the room fifteen minutes later with Peter- the only one Beth hadn't spoken to officially- by her side. However, amidst the blithe chattering, Beth's observing eyes took on a look of wistfulness that never seemed to be gone from them long.

An inaudible sigh of melancholy left her.

...

" _Four_."


End file.
